|
I have to admit I have been a big Daniel Tosh fan, and I actually liked most episodes of Tosh.0. I stopped watching for awhile when in my opinion, the producers and Daniel Tosh used poor judgement in showing people sticking their tongues in other peoples noses. To me, this was highly vulgar, offensive and certainly unnecessary for entertainment.
I personally had never heard of Current TV’s Bill Press until recently and I personally could care less whether I ever hear of him again. I can only imagine he is a legend in his own mind, with a self inflated ego that is probably as interesting to be around as scum in a petri dish. If he is considered great entertainment on Current TV, it is no wonder that Current TV is doing so well at failing in the Cable TV market. The reason I even bring these two names up is because they share a common belief. Tosh says, "I hate our fucking National Anthem. The National Anthem blows." Well guess what Daniel, so do you, but that doesn't make most heterosexuals hate you. Bill Press says, "This is a pet-peeve of mine. No, it is more serious than that. It’s more than a pet-peeve. It is a major crusade of mine, a major cause of mine and that is, to get rid of ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.’ Now I know you’re going to say I am not a true American, I’m not patriotic. I don’t think patriotism has anything to do with it. The national anthem is just absolutely monumentally unsingable. I mean there’s so much wrong with it. I don’t know where to start. It ranges two octaves. Most people can only do kind of one octave.” How absurd is this argument? To be perfectly honest Mr. Press most people can't carry a tune in a bucket with a handle on it, but it doesn't keep us from singing. Most people try to mimic other singers rather than sing in their key, within the Two to four octave ranges the average person can obtain. I would suggest to those that only have one octave, that you sing the song in your key. Don't try to be someone you're not and you will enjoy it more. Mr. Press I don't know of any human that can make the sound of a US Armed Services Band, and I don't know anyone that can play a guitar like Jimi Hendrix, but I know hundreds of people that can air play the shit out of The Star Spangled Banner when either one is heard. I don't know of another song short of other patriotic songs that brings tears to the eyes of grown men every time they even hear The Star Spangled Banner. I also do not know of another song, that when it is sung by some very talented singers in the world like Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and countless others too numerous to name, that it brings goosebumps to the arms of its listeners. For those of you that dislike The National Anthem because it is too hard to remember the words, or it is unsingable, just keep your mouth shut. This should be easy for you Mr. Press, as a former office holder in the Democratic Party, you are used to others being delegated to make up the slack where others fail. I personally can't sing outside the shower, but I guarantee you this, I can sing every word and hit every note of The Star Spangled Banner in my shower. I can say that when I watch Jimi Hendrix, or Travis Wammack play an electric rendition of The Star Spangled Banner on a guitar, I get goosebumps. I can also say that when I hear the US Marine Band play The Star Spangled Banner I get tears in my eyes, and I take offense when others are disrespectful during the National Anthem. Lastly, I can say that I become very angry when I pay for TV programming and it includes Americans that are disrespecting the National Anthem of the United States. You can dislike it, but showing disrespect for it is unacceptable. If you dislike it, try to have it changed, but in the mean time respect it for what it is. The Star Spangled Banner is one of the most hated, most loved, most intimidating and most awe inspiring songs in the world. Only a handful of people have actually been given the gift it takes to climb the octaves to sing it properly but it does not take away from the feeling of pride it instills in most Americans. As for you Daniel Tosh and you Bill Press, I will respect your right to dislike anything, but I will not respect you or your opinions again. Nor will I support either of your failing careers. Personally I do not watch Current TV and I will make sure I drop Tosh.0 from my DVR and viewing as well.
0 Comments
I was in my least favorite store this week, Wal-Mart returning more of their inferior Chinese products. I had purchased several items that lasted less than 30 days and I am determined that I will not be ripped off by this low quality, Chinese peddler ever again.
Every time I make a purchase at Wal-Mart now, I put the receipt in a drawer because I know I will need it before the month is up for at least one item I purchase there. I am really amazed at the vast number of products that I buy and use that have what I thought were American brand names on them only to discover they are now made in China. I needed a light bulb and went to Wal-Mart. On the shelf, they had three different brands of light bulbs. All were within $.50 of each other. I started looking at them and discovered all of them were made in China. No doubt they were probably made on the same assembly line but each one was priced a little differently for each name on the box. So I reached down and picked up the GE package. General Electric. Yeah, hell yeah, an American Company if I ever knew one. As I started to put my GE 100 watt bulbs in the basket, I saw the words "Made in China" on the side of the package. WTF? GE is an American company. I like GE products, or at least I did. I started looking at everything I picked up and I would say 90% of the items I was going to purchase at Wal-Mart this week read "Made in China." It pissed me off and it made me limit what I needed to purchase this week. I came home and started looking online for companies that sell products that are Made in America. I have decided that I can and will change the way I do things. I am going to start purchasing my household items from online retailers that sell products Made in the USA only, if possible. When I started looking on the Internet for household items Made in the USA, they were easy to find. The other nice thing is most of the sights offer free delivery or other incentives to purchase from them. ABOVE all else, I believe the quality of the products will be worth the wait, and the slight increase in price. Here is a link to a news story about products Made in the USA. http://abcnews.go.com/Business/MadeInAmerica/made-america-resource-guide-find-american-companies/story?id=13057404#.T-PjfvVnUVX. It has links to online retailers that sell only products Made in the USA. I believe we as Americans need to put up or shut up. If we are fed up with the inferior crap that Wal-Mart and other Chinese suppliers are selling to us we need to make an effort to support merchants that are selling products made by Americans for Americans. Let's see how many, Chinese companies and American companies that are peddling Chinese products, we can put out of business in the next few years. If buying this junk makes you happy keep supporting Wal-Mart. However, if quality products means something to you and if Made in America means anything to you, try some of these online retailers. http://www.usaonly.us/ http://www.etsy.com/?ref=so_home http://sourcemap.com/ http://www.petriot.com/ http://www.americanmadeproducts.com/ http://www.madeinamericastuff.com/ http://www.americansworking.com/index.html http://madeinusaforever.com/ http://www.stillmadeinusa.com/ http://www.madeinusa.org/ http://www.madebyyankees.net/ http://madeusafdn.org/ http://www.buyamerican.com/alpha.php?ver=new http://www.toysmadeinamerica.com/ I made a Facebook post today after reading the news. It is amazing how ignorant and blind the American public as a whole really are. We have become too fat and lazy, and certainly too complacent in our personal lives to even give a damn about what is happening in our nation and our position in the World as one of the greatest superpowers that have ever existed.
Watch the news or just read for one day. Today as if I didn't already know from previous stories I read where our Attorney General is being considered for perjury for his lack of cooperation with congress over WH policies. Banks from all over the US have met to set new policies because they claim they are losing billions of dollars. Priests, and Lawmakers are being tried for child molestation, and rape of subordinates and the list goes on. All of this, spirals down into one city, Washington, DC. OUR nation's capital. One the most beautiful cities in the world, that We The People of the United States of America OWN. If you were a business owner, would you allow an employee to remain in your business for one second if you caught him/her in a lie? If you caught them raping or molesting a child? Would you keep them if you walked in and found them with their hand in your wallet stealing money? How about sleeping with your wife or husband? I would bet most of you would fire the individual on the spot with no questions asked. This is happening to you now, not only at the Federal level, but the state and Local levels as well. When will the public wake up and fire these people that have been in office so long that they feel invincible? They feel they are Above the Law. This isn't an exaggeration. Congress passes laws EVERYDAY that tell you how you will live, and in the same law it has an exemption law that allows them to live under different rules. This isn't a joke, it is the truth. It is funny how Washington, DC is FULL of thieves, murderers, rapists, pedophiles, child molesters, spies, traitors, professional perjurers, forgerers, swindlers, and tax evaders yet we let them come and go everyday to and from work. We should wait until 9:00 am on let's say Inauguration Day, and surround the city with concertina wire. We'll call it the People's Prison. We'll have Judge Milian hold a People's Court, and only release the innocent as determined by the public jury. We could probably reduce all crime across the US by 70% with this one act alone. People are talking about not voting in November. This is just wrong. America sends her youth to die in wars all over the world to bring democracy with the right to vote to people that want a change in their life. Yet, we have less than 50% of the voting public exercising this awesome right. Rather than just sitting at home and not voting on election day, go to the polls and write in your choice for each office, even if they are not on the ballot. You have the right to vote for whom ever you choose. That is not a wasted vote. I would suggest to EVERYBODY. On election day print out a copy of every race in you precinct. Anyone that has been in office for two terms vote for whom ever is running against them. If Congress won't impose term limits the public can by refusing to send any Representative to any office after the end of their second term. It would reduce corruption in DC and we could have a new crop of inmates in the People's Jail every few years. I have been following the news more and more lately mainly because it is a Presidential election year and I like to hear what the politicians have to say.
Yesterday I found out through Obama that the "Private sector is doing fine." I was not really aware of that. I am aware that at least 20%+ of the private sector are unemployed. I am not quoting the altered and doctored numbers the federal government spits out weekly and monthly, I am stating a fact that anyone that actually takes the time to read and follow the numbers knows to be the truth. The good news however, is the "Private sector is doing fine." Today I read where Obama has called on Congress to help States hire more teachers. Why? To churn out illiterate graduates at a faster pace? I would estimate very conservatively, that 50% of our graduating seniors across the US cannot read at or above grade level. I would estimate conservatively that 75% cannot perform simple math problems in their heads, and I would venture to say that 75% cannot perform simple math problems with just a piece of paper and a pencil. I would estimate that better than 75% cannot write a grammatically correct English sentence. The good news though is the "Private sector is doing fine." So fine in fact in NY City that is has been mandated that all students in elementary 2-5 grades be taught Arabic. Not proper English, Arabic. http://www.theblaze.com/stories/nyc-public-school-mandates-arabic-language-studies-for-all-2nd-through-5th-graders/. It is apparent to me that the NY City School system must be doing better than the average in the USA as far as TEACHING children the basics. They should be the model for all school systems across the USA. Since we have lowered teaching qualifications and implemented "No Child Left Behind," everyone knows our educational system in the US is surpassed by none in the world. I also see empty houses all over the place that, "We the people" now own after the banks in collusion with the federal government, stole the homes of tens of thousands of Americans across the country, through the use of deceptive banking practices and federal laws that were passed to "Protect the citizens." Drive around your community with your eyes open and leave your politics at home and look at the sheer number of empty, abandoned and decaying properties in a 25 to 50 mile radius of your home. When you do that remember that the good news is the "Private sector is doing fine." Drive through the small towns and communities that you grew up in or that you now live in and ask yourself, "How are the businesses doing today?" "Are there young people, and families living in the area?" What does the infrastructure look like?" In many areas close to where I live, the only thing is see growing and thriving are the graveyards, mortuaries, title loan companies, and pawn shop businesses. Two suck you dry until you lose everything you have and two profit from your death. The good news though is the "Private sector is doing fine." I read a story where people are criticizing Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. (D-Ill.), because he has called on Obama to keep a 2008 "Campaign promise" to raise minimum wages to $10 an hour. Of course our representatives and the press are now criticizing Jackson for this plan. Why? He didn't run for the office of POTUS promising the WORKING POVERTY that he would raise their salaries, Obama did. Yesterday though, Obama told us the "Private sector is doing fine." I guess this means that the general populace has no right to be upset or expect Obama or any other politician to keep a pledge made to a supporter. I have a better idea, let's look at history and see what has worked in the past and improve upon it. Franklin Delano Roosevelt's administration was confronted with some serious economic issues in the 1930's. Across the nation, people were hurting. Unemployment was rampant and poverty was an understatement when used to describe our populace. People had lost fortunes and life savings when banks closed and home ownership was a luxury not the norm. FDR didn't try to blow smoke up the ass of the population. He told them the country was in bad shape. He told them they needed to get off their asses and work. He told them the infrastructure needed repair and improvements and he promised to help put America back on top. Through EXECUTIVE ORDERS and with the help of congress he implemented a policy with AMERICA that came to be known as the "New Deal." The federal government became the largest employer in the USA and suddenly people were getting back on their feet, and things began to improve. It was not from government handouts either. It was through the building of dams, bridges and highways across the USA. The building of the infrastructure of America. The highways and byways that you now enjoy, which are currently eroding at an alarming pace. The infrastructure that your grandfathers and fathers built through a federal program designed to put America back to work. There isn't anyone that can offer an intelligent argument against at least the first phase of the "New Deal." It worked and so did Americans. In the end, America prospered and our highway systems and water containment policies are SECOND TO NONE. We became a GREAT nation together. People from all over the world envied Americans and many died just trying to come to America to call her home. So why not today? Instead of throwing BILLIONS into corrupt business so CEOs and a few others can steal more from us, put the BILLIONS into the Federal Payroll System, hire Americans across the nation to repave and rebuild the failing bridges, waterlines, sewers, dams and highways across the USA. Our forefathers built an infrastructure for the generations to come and it is beginning to fall apart. It is time that we shore up and improve upon that which made America the great nation that she is, by putting our people back to work for America. If we do that, in a few years we can have a POTUS that can stand in front of a camera and HONESTLY say the "Private sector is doing fine." When the private sector is doing fine, all the sectors are doing fine. Economies pickup when people are being paid to work. When people make money, people spend money. When people spend money they are buying goods that have to be produced, so production increases. When production increases, eventually imports and exports improve. This is a process that shows a thriving nation. However, this wheel of productivity only works when the "Private sector is doing fine." I am probably the most insecure person on the face of the earth, if my former shrink and therapist are correct. According to them, since I leave my TVs on 24/7 even when I am not at home, I am a very insecure person. Something about my brain and my psyche cannot stand silence. Even in college, I avoided the library as it was too quiet. I studied with a headset on, listening to Pink Floyd. All I can say is, I was an Honor graduate so it worked for me.
The one thing that is consistent with me watching TV, listening to the radio, and reading anything on the Internet is that I hate commercials and intrusive ads. I understand that companies feel the need for them, but I hate them all. My dislike for them is due in part to the underhanded, sleazy ways advertisers use to try and shove products down consumers throats. I liken advertisers and their underhanded methods, to the smell of vomit, and stepping in dog crap. Both make you kind of cringe and you avoid them like the plague. I normally record programs that I enjoy until I have about 8 to 10 hours of the same program on the DVR and then at night when I go sleep, I turn the program on and it plays for 8 hours while I sleep ensuring I never have to hear or learn that more of my favorite channels have prostituted themselves to an infomercial company. I have one deviation from this normal life of noise and visual comfort. Every morning when I get up I go to the living room while Janit sleeps. I sit on my couch and I read the news. I have WAFF, Fox News, Huffington Post, Examiner, Twitter and a few others as my permanent Home Pages, which I read for a couple of hours each morning. Lately however, I have been really pissed at Fox News, and WAFF. I start reading the news or watch a video on a news story and all of a sudden an AD appears over the story, or a video AD begins playing in the background, or on the side of the story. It is really irritating. So much so, that I am going to find another national and local news source. The ads and forced videos have become more and more invasive almost to the point that I feel they are trying to shove them down my throat. Let me assure you Fox News, and WAFF, and all the rest of you Websites that are interested in attracting my time and business, I DO NOT swallow. Advertisers on the Internet are now using some of the same sleazy tactics as they do on commercial TV which is why I only watch two shows on regular or Local channels. They increase the volume of video ads. They make the CLOSE or Exit options so small you can't read them, or they hide them within the text. It just goes to prove that advertising executives are sleazeballs, and the people that they hire to work for them are even more so. Their tactics DO NOT make me want to go out and buy TIDE, or GEICO. It makes me go to the grocery store and read product labels in hopes of finding something that doesn't bring back memories of the smell of vomit, or dog crap on my shoe. GEICO's ads pissed me off so bad I changed companies altogether. Next I am going to test out all the Web Browsers to see if there is one that really blocks popups. It will be interesting to see if there is one, or if they have all become prostitutes to the Ad companies. It really has been a very hot week and it is still early in the year. All week I have been trying to do little projects that I have been avoiding since we moved here, like cleaning and arranging the outside storage room. I had to take several breaks throughout the project as it was just amazingly hot.
I started to clean the storage room last week but when I started moving things around I found spiders by the hundreds. If anyone knows me well, they know I came very close to dying in 1997 when I was bitten on the neck by a Brown Recluse. It became extremely infected and I was in the hospital within a few days of being bitten. So I went to Lowe's and purchased the Raid Fumigators. I like the fumigators because they produce a white smoke that gets into the walls, floors, and any thing where air can enter. I set two off in the room and closed the door for several hours. When I returned I found spiders by the hundreds all over the floor. I swept it clean and unpacked boxes that have been sealed since our move. I got rid of a bunch of junk and I can now walk into the storage room where before I had to climb over stuff. It sure is nice having it done. I am also trying a home Eco-friendly fertilizer for the yard. It has several unusual ingredients but if it works it should help the grass grow and thrive through the hot summer. I am posting some before and after pictures of the yard in a few minutes. Although there are still a few bald spots, the yard is shaping up. It took awhile but I think I have just about cleared the yard of Poison Ivy, Sumac, and Oak. I have also tried to kill some of the underbrush. All in all, we are enjoying what we are seeing. Being that it is our first year here we have been in a wait and see what comes up pattern and as it does we try to improve upon that. Again this week met two friends we have been talking to on Facebook. This has been such an awesome experience and a very positive one at that. I would like to say to both Brittany and Whitney Traylor, I know you guys were swamped yesterday but it was nice meeting the two of you and having you meet Miss Janit. Some day soon we will get you guys to come over for dinner or drinks down by the river. Tomorrow is Memorial Day and it is so important for all Americans to stop and just give at least a moments thought of gratitude to all the men and woman that have and do serve in our Armed Forces. We are such a blessed nation that has the best Armed Forces in the world. That includes the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and the Coast Guard. I would also like for everyone to remember the National Guard that plays a big part in all of our military maneuvers. Thank you all, for all that you do to protect this nation, and others throughout the world that desire to live in peace, free of oppression. Thank you also goes out to all the families that have lost loved ones who were defending this great nation. Thank you to all the wives, husbands and children of the service members that are currently serving, for the sacrifices you make each day as your loved ones are ensuring this nation remains free and remains a leader in ensuring peace in the world. Without your support and sacrifices our nation would not have the best Armed Forces in the world. I wish everyone a safe Holiday Weekend. I have said before that friends really mean a lot to me. I have a Facebook page where I purged my list of friends to the people that I actually talk to and care about. I had about 100 acquaintances that, although there may have been a time in my life I could call them friends, they had grown to become just people I knew at one time or another in my life. Then there are those that you have talked to for years but have never met. As some of you may know I play a game called World of Warcraft. I started playing that game after my accounts in another game, Knights Online, were hacked and I lost years of virtual items that cost over time, thousands of dollars to acquire. (Personally it is my opinion that the personnel at K2 stole my items, but that is my personal opinion.) Regardless, they know who stole the items, they know from IP addresses but refused to do anything to restore my accounts, so my Clan, the Regulators decided to move to WOW run by Blizzard Entertainment. Now I mention the Clan from KO for a reason. We have all been playing together for ~5 years. I use a private Vent, from Ventrilo, which allows us to talk to people all over the world in real time. I use this in the game which allows us all to talk to each other rather than having to type. Over the years Jan and I have had the pleasure of meeting some amazing people. Friends from Germany, Sweden, Australia, and Holland to name a few. Not to mention all the friends throughout the United States. People that I personally include in my closest friends status. On Saturday May 12, Jan and I drove to Atlanta, GA and picked up a friend we have never met except though our vent. Candy has been a member of our Guild and a part of our lives for ~5 years now. We had 2 of the nicest weeks with Candy here in our home. We spend many days fishing and just enjoyed getting to know each other better. The funny part of the story was Candy's grandmother kept telling Candy that we could be serial killers. We took her to Pete's Meats and took a picture of her there with one of his Tee-shirts. Needless to say it drove some in her family nuts. Fast forward to today. We drove Candy back over to Atlanta and reluctantly said goodbye. On the way home I passed through Heflin, Alabama and drove past an old loves house, and then we went through Anniston to look at a house my ex, still owns there. It was all in all a great trip. On the way out of Anniston, I went west on 202 and started looking for the business of an old friend. This guy was a true friend when I really needed some guidance in my life, and someone whom I have truly missed over the years. As I drove through this area it had changed over the past 15 years and I actually drove past his business when it dawned on me what a sign read on the front of the building that I passed.. Que Time Cafe & Billiards. I got excited and did a U-turn and drove up to the front of the building. Jan said "Damn baby he is closed on Sunday." I said if my friend Emil Donda still owns this place he will be inside this building even if it is closed. I went up and started pounding on the door. All of a sudden here came a leaner, more healthy looking Emil Donda. I could barely contain my excitement when he opened the door. It took about 5 seconds but then recognition lit up his face. Emil and his wife Lori run one of the most awesome, unusual businesses in Calhoun County. Emil and Lori had the billiard hall which they wanted to be for the kids and families in the area. They never sold alcohol and they don't allow it now. They also make some of the most awesome hamburgers you will ever eat. One pound burgers to be more exact, including the buns and condiments, and hot dogs that you cannot eat by picking them up. He has added a few other businesses but Emil was never one to sit back and allow opportunity to pass him by. At 75 years of age he is one of the best Chess players I have had to pleasure to play against, and he will wipe most people's ass out on a billiards table. This is just two examples of the people I call my friends. One I had never met before, and one that I got to see again after 15 years, yet we picked right back up where we left off back then. I am truly a lucky man that values the friendships I have. Some friends may get upset with me for decisions I make, but sometimes I make decisions that are meant to protect the friendships that I love and cherish the most. This may cause the loss of a few people whom I felt were my friends but for the most part, I only lose those that were not as good a friend to me, as I was to them.  Our friend and daughter from another mom and dad: Candice (Candy) Meek. 
I was just on Facebook having a very interesting conversation with a group of citizens that lives in and around the Rogersville area. The subject of voting came up in the discussion and the clock is ticking on the 2012 election. Throughout Alabama this year elections will include National as well as Municipal voting, on issues that deal from the President to alcohol being sold in local jurisdictions.
How archaic is to think that there are actually cities and towns and counties that are considered dry in this day and age. Prohibition ended on a National level in 1933 yet today in 2012 of the 67 counties in Alabama, 3 are completely dry, 23 are partially dry or "moist" and 41 are completely wet. Within those 23 "moist" counties, 41 city governments have legalized alcohol sales inside their city limits. In dry counties, it is illegal to transport more than one case of beer and three quarts of liquor. How archaic is this. I have heard it is because ALABAMA in in the BIBLE BELT!! Yet according to the statistics, this BIBLE BELT STATE is ranked number one, in incest related crimes, followed in a close second by Alaska. (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Which_US_state_has_the_highest_incest_rate) but hey let's hold on to that Bible Belt thing a little while longer while the kids and adults in this state stay at or above 20% illiteracy rate. People what would it take to prove to you that voting is the NUMBER ONE most precious right you possess? You may think it does not matter, but it does. One vote especially in a municipal or local election can make all the difference in the world. American men and women fight in countries 1000's of miles away from home in support of Democracy, and to bring the right to vote to all people all over the world. Yet here at home we cannot get 50% of the general population to take 30 mins of their time once a year, once every 2 years, or once every 4 years to vote. It is amazing to me the people of the US armed forces don't just stand up and refuse to follow legal orders to fight a cause that the American people show, in their lack of interest in voting, is not worth the loss of even one soldier's life. I would challenge all the people that read this in the Rogersville area to start up a registration drive for the citizens that vote in the Rogersville area. I will volunteer a day to pick people up and carry them to city hall or where ever they have to go to register to vote. I will also volunteer on election day to pick up people and take them to the polls. It is that important. I have been struggling all week trying to come up with something to write in the blog. There is so much CRAP going on in the world around us that most of it is too stupid to write about. So I am going to tell you a true story this week. It explains why I sometimes have a problem telling people I live in Alabama but after today, I understand more fully about some of my initial dislikes of some Alabama residents.
I moved to Alabama in March 1993. The very day that Anniston and most of Alabama experienced the worst snow storm in ten years. The Blizzard of 1993 is what they called it. The night I pulled into town wife number two and I went to Sizzler Steak House for dinner. On the way in to the restaurant, a man and woman were coming out of the building and were walking down the same aisle between cars. About 5 steps before we passed each other, the man covered one nostril of his nose and blew snot all over the car on his right side. I came this (-------) close to saying something to this fowl, disgusting, human being as I passed by him. I did stop to make sure this ape like idiot did not blow snot all over my vehicle as he passed. Fast forward to the meal. I was talking to my wife while eating and there was a couple sitting across from us with a small child. The child was extremely unruly but I was willing to ignore it as I was enjoying the steak. About halfway through my meal the food for the other table was brought out. I watched in utter disgust as this guy, sitting with his wife and child, pulled a huge wad of chewing tobacco out of his mouth and proceeded to drop it into his water glass. I told my wife I wanted to leave. She thought I just meant the restaurant. I literally meant, I wanted to leave the State of Alabama. Fast forward to today. I was outside this afternoon trying to clean up my yard and started blowing those crunchy brown, pollen filled things all over the ground from the oaks in my yard. About 10 minutes into this operation I started to sneeze and my eyes were watering and snot three feet long was hanging from the end of my nose. It was at this point, that I came to realize I had actually evolved into one of these guys that I thought were disgusting eight and half years ago. I leaned over as far as I could covered one nostril and literally covered the poor ants at my feet in snot. Then I was so embarrassed, I had to go inside, get a Kleenex and blow my nose. If people do this out of a dire necessity due to allergies than I apologize for being such an asshole, but if you do this simply because you are too lazy to get a Kleenex to blow your nose then my dislike for you still stands. Alabama is the only State I have seen this habit used. Is this a State thing? Is it caused by breeding, or is it a territorial marking ritual passed down through generations? I am not sure what it is but I don't like it and it's snot very funny. Okay this is going to be a totally fictitious story that probably happens in a lot of households, anywhere in the world:
Imagine spending your life with a woman that spends hours a day on the phone listening to her children, or her sibling crying over some huge crisis in their life, that had they listened to their mom/sister in the first place the crisis never would have developed. Imagine a woman who never says no to a friend, or a child. Imagine a woman that gives day in and day out and never asks for anything in return. Imagine the most loving caring wife, or friend you could ever hope for but don't deserve. Now imagine her crying for hours on end over the people in her life that continually hurt her, and imagine her being lied to and ignored by these same people when their crisis passes and things seem to be more at ease in their life. Imagine these people blaming her for the destruction of their family or dysfunctional childhood, when it was her husband or their father that cheated on her and betrayed not only her trust but the trust the family placed in him. Imagine these people blaming her for finding someone else in her life that treats her like a queen and cherishes the ground she walks on. Imagine these people blaming her for not sticking through the mental abuse to make lives better for their ungrateful lives. In this fictitious story I think it is only fair to tell these ungrateful, leeches to stop calling her when your world is falling apart. Stop calling her when your spouse finds a more interesting non-whining lover. Stop calling her when you need money. Stop calling her when your electricity or phone is cutoff. Stop calling her to ask for advice you never accept or follow, which then leads to further drama in your life. Stop calling all together unless you have the time to come see her when you promise her you will. Stop calling her unless you can remember her fvcking birthday. Stop calling her unless you can remember Mother's day as easily as you remember father's day. Stop calling her unless you pay back the money she constantly "lends" you. Stop calling her unless you are going to be there and hold her at night when her children/sister choose to lie to her again. The one non-fictitious part of this story is this, one day you will call and she will be gone. One day you will need that shoulder to cry on and she will be gone. One day you'll want to hear her laugh and she will be gone. One day you will just want to be able to look at her beautiful face again and she will be gone. When that day comes, I hope for your sake you have found someone else that you can abuse to ease your pain because she will not be the one crying for you ever again. One day God will ease her pain and you will no longer have to worry about making up stories and lies that will just hurt her again. |
